How to Use Face-Sitting as a Secret Sex Hack

4 days ago 2

Face-Sitting Is a Seriously Underrated Bedroom Tactic. Here's How to Use It to Your Advantage

With so much of the little sex education that people do get growing up devoted to mitigating negative outcomes like sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies, it's no surprise that the ins and outs of oral sex don’t exactly get their due.

And while recent decades have seen shifts in the cultural perception of cunnilingus from something demeaning for a guy to do to something that it's manly to excel at, just like penetration, one aspect of oral that still feels under-discussed is the magic of face-sitting.

Despite the fact that you almost certainly didn’t learn about it in sex ed class, face-sitting is hardly a new concept. Artistic depictions of it go back many hundreds of years, and it’s certainly plausible that people have been engaging in the practice for much, much longer than that.

And why wouldn’t they? It’s a classic oral sex position that’s easily achievable if you have even a small bed. You don’t need to be crazy flexible or have tons of stamina. One person lies down, the other kneels on either side of their head. And the tongue gets to work. So what should you know about it?

Why Is Face-Sitting Under-Appreciated?

Face-sitting isn’t for everyone, and some vagina-havers report preferring oral where they’re lying on their back to the experience of kneeling and straddling a partner’s face.

However, one big reason I think face-sitting is underrated is that some guys may see it as being associated with femdom — picturing a dominant woman and a submissive man.

Since being a sub in bed runs counter to many cultural narratives about male power, it’s understandable that some guys might not seek to explore sex acts associated with a submissive male role, even if it’s something they ultimately might find enjoyment in exploring.

And it’s absolutely true that face-sitting can be used to great effect by sex partners who want to emphasize the power of the vagina-haver who’s sitting on their counterpart’s face.

Technically, the person riding can move and place their thighs, crotch and buttocks in such a way as to crush or smother their partner, as well as having their mouth and arms free to engage in degrading dirty talk or hitting, slapping or otherwise teasing the submissive with their hands.

Furthermore, if there’s real kinky play in progress, the person on top can urinate, fart or defecate on the person below them, seriously adding to the Dom/sub dynamic.

However, these possibilities also ignore the fact that, done right, the person receiving cunnilingus may find it hard to engage in more dominant, controlling behavior, and may even struggle to speak in coherent sentences.

That’s because, with the top partner’s clitoris pressed directly on their partner’s mouth, the bottom partner has the ability to deliver powerful, ongoing pleasure from an extremely comfortable and non-physically demanding position.

It also gives the prostrate partner the ability to use their hands to grab or play with the other person’s breasts and nipples, buttocks or feet, and those with longer arms (or shorter partners) could also reach their partner’s face area, meaning choking play, finger-sucking, etc. are viable options.

Also fun? The prostrate partner can easily masturbate while they go down on the riding partner, meaning pleasure for both people simultaneously.

A Massive Potential Benefit of Face-Sitting

Most importantly perhaps for men who sleep with women? It’s an absolutely fantastic tool for post-climax pleasuring.

Ask straight and bi women what their least favorite aspect of sex with cis men is and a lot of them will mention guys who cum and immediately assume the sex is over.

There are a few different factors at play there — for one, it’s understandable for guys in a penetrating role in common positions — like, say, missionary and doggy style — to be exerting more energy than their counterparts.

When their brains are flooded with feel-good sex chemicals like prolactin, serotonin and oxytocin, which help encourage relaxation, it’s only natural for them to feel sleepy.

Plus, since people with penises typically experience much, much longer refractory periods than people with vaginas, it might be too sensitive to continue penetrative sex.

All this can combine to produce a physical reality where guys are no longer interested in continuing the action, and cultural scripts like scenes in TV, movies and porn clips where the male ejaculation is treated like the climactic moment of the sex scene reinforce this belief among many guys.

But suppose you’re in the woman’s shoes — you’re enjoying yourself, excited to have an orgasm at some point in the near future, your partner cums, and suddenly everything is over. Wouldn’t that feel pretty frustrating? Wouldn’t you feel disappointed and maybe even a bit resentful that the other person got to experience maximum pleasure and then essentially resigned from the game?

That’s where face-sitting comes in. Because it features a guy lying on his back, it requires functionally no energy from you. The only thing that really needs to keep moving is your tongue — your legs, arms and torso can be completely relaxed and motionless, and you don’t even have to hold your head up as you do when giving oral to a partner lying on their back.

So next time you climax before your partner’s ready for things to end, consider asking them to sit on your face.

You can go to town on them with your tongue while the rest of your body gets its much-desired post-coital bliss, and your partner will get to experience the good times continuing to roll.

Keep at it long enough and you just might find yourself ready for another round of penetration with a thoroughly pleased partner ready to go, too. Now that’s a win-win-win situation.

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